Do not count the curses that legitimate wives call mistresses on their heads, accusing them of trying to steal someone else's happiness, greed, lack of morality, and even comparing young ladies with representatives of the oldest profession. Wives can be understood, but mistresses have a hard time. If you dig deeper, the status of "beloved woman" has so many drawbacks that sometimes no advantage can be outweighed by them. And then in the head sooner or later the unchanging “Love cannot be parted” comes. Where are we going to put a comma?
Is it really necessary to break a relationship?
Appeal to conscience, repeat banal truths about happiness that you cannot build on other people's misfortunes, and we will not offer to take the place of a deceived wife. You are already a big girl and you understand everything perfectly. Moreover, such thoughts probably came to your mind more than once, clouding the mood, but disappeared safely under the pressure of more positive ones: “I love him!”, “Everything is real, not that TAM”, “My heart doesn’t you will order "... And yet the little worm of doubt about how to part with a married lover, continued to gnaw your lover's heart, otherwise you would not be on this page.
Let's try to figure out what brings the forbidden relationship - joy or experience?A married man a priori belongs to another
- You are spared from the ordinary. Meeting with your beloved is always a small holiday, something special, long-awaited, cut off from the annoying bytovuhi. You do not need to take out the garbage and lay the floor on the loggia, it does not turn up your nose from yesterday's borscht. It remains only the joy of meeting, albeit for a short time.
- You show each other your love. If in the relationship of spouses, the number of kisses, hugs and passionate experiments in bed over time inevitably decreases, you have everything - as after a long separation. Even if in fact you have not seen a day or two.
- You feel loved and desired, because the man continues to come to you. And it is so easy to believe that he does it from great love, and not because of the desire to distract from the family routine or just to have a good time with such a clever and beautiful woman like you. Which besides does not saw him because of trifles, always cheerful and well-groomed, unlike the wife in a dressing gown and with the screaming band of children.
- Let's be honest, the overwhelming majority of women, with the exception of a small percentage of surprisingly self-sufficient young ladies, cherish the hope of one day retraining from mistresses to a lawful spouse. Alas, the statistics are not on your side: according to her calculations, 75% of married men do not dare to leave their families, and of the remaining 25%, almost half return to the rickety home after a while. After all, with your wife your favorite pud of salt ate, life has been arranged, children have been brought up, and you have to start all over again, and it’s not a fact that the gentleman will be able to do it. It turns out that you simply give a man his best years, which you could spend to find a more worthy candidate, and in the end risk being left with nothing.
- Routine, which is absent in a relationship, falls entirely on your fragile shoulders. No, in the case of a gentleman, you can be asked to assist in domestic issues, but, as a rule, this does not happen. In addition, at the right time, men may simply not be around - because he has his own life.
- Mistress remains alone, not only in the face of domestic difficulties. She spends alone holidays and weekends that a man is forced to give to his family. Of course, you can visit your parents or go to a party with friends, but even there you can be a black sheep without a couple.
- Not only the spouse suffers from adultery. Mistress, too, has to put up with the fact that right from her beloved man goes into the arms of another woman. And at least it is naive to believe the stories that there is no sex in their lives anymore, the wife is frigid, and your dear regularly wears a chastity belt beyond the threshold of your apartment.
- Finally, public opinion. Oh, it can ruin the lives of even the most independent of us! Parents condemningly sigh and ask if they have a chance to wait for their grandchildren, colleagues mistrust themselves disapprovingly, common acquaintances bashfully keep silent, it is worthwhile to surface in a taboo subject. All this, of course, is a drop in the sea, but it sharpens the stone. Meetings in secret only seem at first romantic and attractive.
Reviews of former mistresses
I have already stepped on this rake twice. I don’t even want to try this for the enemy, they are all the same ... Although they live, it would seem, in different parts of the world. The same words, the same gifts ... Dear girls, never get fooled by these empty promises, you can't build happiness on someone else's grief, no matter how loving it is.
Dear girls, a married man - it is always pain and masochism, if you need men just for money, perhaps this is acceptable for you. But if you want love and understanding, if you are looking for affection and tenderness, care and patience, it will not be good for you, because he did not wait for you and gave himself another long time ago. Even if you have waited for a divorce and he is “as if” yours, believe nothing will not stop him when next to him will be a beautiful young lady like you. Lovely girls, longing and loneliness are pushing us into relationships with married men, but believe me, a married man is the first wave of a shovel to dig a hole for unhappy love, pain and suffering, I repeat, however fabulous your relationship may be.
Little was a fool. A married man, “the wife is bad, they sleep in different rooms, only the children hold, but he does not love her, but only me” ... I listened, believed, considered myself queen. And now, after 7 years, I became the wife of another, lived for many years, 2 children and then - on you "I never loved you, but I love that one, she is younger, there are no children, she understands me." Say no boomerang? And I know why I got this.
Summing up. Remaining in the status of a mistress, you lose time in almost guaranteed unpromising relationships, consciously depriving yourself of a chance to start a normal family, regularly yearn for loneliness and at least deep down, and realize that you are acting dishonestly towards a deceived wife. Even if you do not believe in karma, this is an unpleasant feeling. And in return - rare meetings, the same rare joy and deceptive feeling that you are “still not alone”. Is it worth it?
Maybe it’s time to correctly put a comma, type in your mind “you can’t love, break up” and go in search of someone who will be ready to give you without a trace, and not in rare stolen minutes?
Try the old reception of psychologists. Take a piece of paper, divide it into two parts and write on one half all the advantages of your position, and on the second minuses. And then, comparing both lists, honestly answer yourself: this relationship is the best, what are you worthy?
How to part with a married man you love: two ways
Having made a volitional decision, you must be able to adequately implement it. Especially since your man will certainly have objections to this matter. In the course will go:
- calls to your feelings;
- promises of quick change;
- accusations in callousness.
… And much more. Withstand all this and not surrender to the power of every woman, especially if your feelings for the chosen one are strong. To save yourself from temptation and unnecessary hassle, think over your actions in advance.Properly severing the relationship, you will save nerves and mental strength
A long way - for those unable to say no
- Begin to reduce the number of meetings gradually, but steadily. No, no, you do not part, just tonight, Kate's friend asked tearfully to help her paint the roots before the date. And on Friday, parents dream of getting a daughter to the country. And in August you are going to the sea with girls. With the right approach, parting can not happen as such, just at some point you realize that you met the last time six months ago and you do not plan to resume the practice of secret meetings.
- Become capricious. Demand more attention signs, complain about loneliness, make claims. Let the time spent with you cease to seem to a man such a fairy tale.
- Talk less often, it is very conducive to distancing. Show less interest in his affairs, and on the story of a robbery that happened to a man at work, tell your story about a broken nail and a fool colleague who spoiled your stapler.
- Look for imperfections in the partner. And do not say that it is perfect, there are no such people. Snores, loudly yawns, throws street shoes at random, splashing toothpaste on the mirror while brushing your teeth, does not like dogs ... Start small, and soon this list will grow to amazing sizes, and it will be easier for you to make your plan a reality.
- Start a leisurely search for a new partner, but do not start a new novel. Just take a closer look, otherwise you, firstly, risk getting an offensive “prostitute!”, And secondly, your behavior may be perceived by a man as an attempt to arouse his jealousy and force him to fight for you. But if someone interesting appears on the horizon, it will be much easier to put the last point in the history of previous relationships.Stop being soft and understanding
In one fell swoop - for the decisive and courageous
Just talk to the man - evenly, without threats and tantrums. Surely you will often have the temptation to raise your voice or let a tear, but try not to give yourself will. Easy explain: you regret the parting, the days spent together are very precious to you, but you do not see the prospects of this connection, therefore you want to put an end to it. Emphasize that you feel bad and lonely, when a loved one goes to the family, you do not want to spend your whole life on the sidelines, and therefore you will try to arrange your life all over again. Already without him.
If you are unsure of your ability to say everything that is necessary, without crying, state your thoughts in a letter. But do not try to give a treatise on 10 pages! One, maximum two will be enough: you are grateful for everything, you sincerely loved him, but it is time for you to move on, therefore you wish happiness to the family of the former lover and urge not to look for more meetings with you.Plunge into depression, self-pitying, the last thing
And then turn off the phone, block a man in social networks, temporarily tear up contacts with mutual friends and start to engage in yourself. And the worst thing you can do in this situation is lie down on the sofa with a jar of ice cream and a tearful melodrama on the screen. Come out in people! The ideal solution would be to travel to another country or city for two weeks, and if there is no such possibility, exhibitions, theaters, master classes, roller skating in the park and going to the cinema for super blockbusters (we remind you, romance is now forbidden for you) .
A good way to facilitate the separation will be to clean the house of all the memorabilia associated with the exiled lover, as well as change the image.
Tips astrologer: how to run up with a man, given his zodiac sign
Of course, all Taurus, Streltsov and Dev are the same comb, but common character traits in representatives of the same sign are common. If you are fond of astrology, you can try to build a break with a man, relying on the advice of the stars.
Who will we throw?
- Aries. Having survived the first shock at the thought that he is His! - rejected, Aries will very quickly move from love to outright hostility. In order not to provoke him into fighting, try to do without phrases that infringe upon the merits of Aries. No one is to blame for your break, everything was wonderful, but such is fate.
- Taurus The offended Taurus leaves after parting at sunset, where he devotes several days to thinking about how smart, beautiful and gorgeous he is, wondering how this could not be appreciated. You can play up to him at parting, dropping the phrase "I am unworthy of you." Taurus will understand, agree and calm down.
- Twins. As for them, you can not worry too much. Usually they drown out the painful emotions from the gap, plunging into social life, where they very soon start looking for a new girlfriend. And the exact opposite of you. Cancer can flare up when you hear the unpleasant news
- Cancer. Hard case. To be abandoned Cancers do not know how, invoking the memory of the past, threatening suicide and promising to correct. Here, as in no other case, it is appropriate to express your desire to break up on paper, then swallow the SIM card, cut the internet cable and lie down on the warm sand somewhere near the ocean.
- Leo When parting violated not only the tender feelings of Leo, but also his pride. Having suffered for some time alone, he will begin to plan revenge, but the innate nobility will make him quit. So your only task is not to bend the stick, reaching insults.
- Virgin Parting with the Virgin requires a special delicacy, too often the representatives of this sign blame themselves. 3-4 times during a conversation, emphasize: it’s not a partner, you would be happy to stay with him under other circumstances, but - alas ...
- Libra. Fall in love firmly. Sincerely want a good partner, remind you of what a wonderful woman he is married to, and how ugly it was for you both to deceive her. Especially push the sense of decency.
- Scorpio Complex object. If possible, break with him through a letter or in a crowded cafe, where your partner will have less chances to make a scene. And having diverged from Scorpio, go on the run: to the sea, to the village, to a friend living in a nearby town. This will give the "former" time to cool down and calm down, because in a rage he can continue to haunt you and build snares.
- Sagittarius. Perhaps one of the easiest options to part without any worries. Just be calm, build a conversation judiciously, do without charges, and it is quite possible that in the end you will be told, along with a farewell kiss, your hands: “Thank you, dear, for everything that happened!” With Sagittarius it’s easier to just be friends
- Capricorn does not like to advertise their feelings, so it is unlikely to allow to look into his soul when parting. As a rule, with him everything goes smoothly, restrained, almost cold, after which Capricorn is immersed in work, healing the wounds he has received.
- Aquarius responds to the proposal to leave almost the same as Capricorn. Give him the reasons for your separation clearly and stand aside; he will not give you any additional problems. Although deep down you will experience it, so spare his feelings, be gentle and carefully select words.
- The fish have been thinking about the reasons for the gap for a long time, so don’t be surprised at the sudden night calls asking: “I understand, you didn’t like it? Or maybe that?” You can talk a couple of times, but there is not much point in this, the Pisces man will not calm down so quickly. Only one way out - black list.
Prospects after breaking up with a married man
Be prepared for the fact that the first time after a break you will be overcome with regrets. This is natural, because the more pleasant moments you had in the past with this man, the stronger will be the desire to repeat them again. In addition, the role and fear of loneliness play a role, and - to conceal - wounded pride, for the dear did not appear on the threshold with the suitcases and manifesto: "Darling, I realized everything, confessed to my wife and now is yours forever!" How to cope with all this?
Think that now you are free to write life according to your own scenario, not focusing on the needs of a man who did not appreciate you enough to make him his only one.
Remember that you can, with a clear conscience, search for your half, and not wait for the weather by the sea.
Feel relieved that you don’t have to share your life with a liar. After all, even if the "former" had kept his promise and parted with his wife for you, who guarantees that in a year or two he would not go looking for a new outlet in the face of another lover?
It is said that Nicole Kidman, after her break with the undersized Tom Cruise, exclaimed: “Finally I can wear high heel shoes!” Maybe you have your own "shoes" that your man did not approve of? It's time to afford everything that you wanted, but did not do before, so as not to go into conflict with your loved one.
Any parting, no matter how correct we think it is, it always hurts. We tear the living threads that bind us to a person, and no Novocain is at hand to dull the sensations. But if the decision is made, it is necessary to bring it to life in order to go further light - towards a new relationship, new, free from secrets and remorse of the conscience of life, towards happiness.